"A note about my late pen pal Shawn, not proof read, not rewritten. Just a note about Shawn and our very limited time spent together.
Shawn was stressed at the shelter, a very typical reaction to the chaotic and unnerving environment that surrounds about 150 dogs.
But once out of the kennel was a sweet, kind, and gentle dog. Something I'm not really used to frankly. I'm used to working with the more 'behaviorally challenged' types with loads of pent up energy. Shawn was different... He was great on leash walks and really enjoyed walking around the premises. Especially today, since the sun was out and the day was warm.
It seemed ironic that it was such a beautiful day outside. Because I knew that this was going to be Shawn's last. He didn't know that though, he was happy as could be on his walk. He stopped and rolled around in the bushes outside of acct to scratch his back. He was especially happy today.
Dogs were pouring into the shelter at a steady pace today. So many dogs, so little space. Stress and tension was super high within those shelter walls. But not where we were, outside in the sunshine. Watching all the craziness from a distance.
I loaded him up in my car so I could take him out for his last meal, a good junky one. I forgot to put his 'save my cage' card in his kennel...why bother, I thought. But I did it anyway. When I returned to the car after several minutes, Shawn was soundly snoozing in the backseat, probably thinking...finally, a quiet place to rest.
We went for a car ride (which he was excellent for) and i got him a hamburger and chicken and he happily ate it all. We sat there for a little while and just enjoyed the fresh air coming into the car with all the windows down.
I returned to acct but did not yet have the guts to bring him in, we were having a really good day. I sat there in the back seat with him and petted his head, which he gently laid on my lap. It was quiet and peaceful.
Time to go in.
As I'm walking him in, I'm finding myself getting more and more emotional. Finally we reached the door and he stopped in his tracks and was sniffing the ground. It was then I realized this is the last time he will ever sniff the ground again and feel the sunshine on his face. It's like he knew and was trying to take in one last good whiff.
I felt awful for him. I kept on reminding myself that he didn't know. Ok so I lost it a little... And still am 8 hours later which is why I feel compelled to write about it.
He was a good boy, I know he was. He just didn't have the opportunity to get out and show the world. The shelter environment was just too much for my dear Shawn to handle.
I'm not writing this to make anyone else sad, but just so I can release some of these emotions to keep my own sanity. This is one that really hit me hard. And I want to remember Shawn and the great day I had with him today. RIP Shawn, I hope there is a rainbow bridge. I hope there is an afterlife where you are running free without any pain, suffering, or stress. I hope wherever you are that you know you were loved in this life and will not be soon forgotten. <3"
I am sad and I am angered and I want to make a difference. So I start this blog, in rememberance of Shawn who deserved much more.
Oh April, your words brought tears to my eyes. You gave Shawn an excpetional last day, God Bless you for that. I don't know how you did it, I don't think I could....Animals have such gentle souls and are just the purest form of love. I am thinking of my rescue, smokey who has only been with me 11 days but I know he was on the short list at the spca. He is such a wonderful little guy who just kisses everyone, I am glad he is enjoying this day with me...
ReplyDeleteI have not read the Rainbow Bridge for years. I have it saved somewhere but I cry when I read it so I solace in knowing I have it somewhere but since you mentioned it and for people who do not know it....Here it is..
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Sorry - Colleen's words?
ReplyDeleteNicole-
ReplyDeleteI can't take credit for those words, they were Colleen's.
I can think of so many dogs on the short list. My own Mindy was rescued just hours before she was to be put to sleep. It's just so heartbreaking.
I would like to give a big THANK YOU TO YOU, for giving him these moments he probably never had, a good meal and a thoughtful person to share some time with.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you as it is so sad that he ended up in a shelter, so many dogs and cats do not deserve to be there, and it saddens me to think alot are not wanted any more.
It's a throw away deal with people and others don't want to train them and blame the dog that he's not working out.
Such a sad life for all these animals and I wish there was some thing we could do to stop people from filling up Shelters with dogs that are unwanted. All they want is to be wanted and loved by someone.
Thanks for giving him what he probably never had, a good time.
it makes me cry but you gave him happiness in his last moments.
I dont think people realize how much work a dog can actually be. To Chrissy's point, people dont want to train them, or maybe, give up on training them because it is work. As I said, I have only had Smokey for 11 days and it has been grueling because I am constantly teaching him manners. I was almost wishing for a support group web site! I had so many questions, am I doing this right? Is this normal behavior for a dog? Am I supposed to be this tired?! But thankfully, April and her Mom, Mary were such a support to me and helped me so much with encouragement and support. If people did not encourage me and tell me this is the hard part, the training, it will get better, I don't know what I would have done. People should be educated and informed that if they want that good dog, its gonna take work and they will be tired. And I have it somewhat easy, Smokey is so freaking smart! He is learning so quick! I think of all the animals put to sleep and think back on all the pets I had with their love and individual personalities. It breaks my heart. And God Bless Colleen and all the volunteers who help the animals in the shelters and give them love. I cannot do it, they are angels for our 4 legged friends here on Earth.
ReplyDelete