"A note about my late pen pal Shawn, not proof read, not rewritten. Just a note about Shawn and our very limited time spent together.
Shawn was stressed at the shelter, a very typical reaction to the chaotic and unnerving environment that surrounds about 150 dogs.
But once out of the kennel was a sweet, kind, and gentle dog. Something I'm not really used to frankly. I'm used to working with the more 'behaviorally challenged' types with loads of pent up energy. Shawn was different... He was great on leash walks and really enjoyed walking around the premises. Especially today, since the sun was out and the day was warm.
It seemed ironic that it was such a beautiful day outside. Because I knew that this was going to be Shawn's last. He didn't know that though, he was happy as could be on his walk. He stopped and rolled around in the bushes outside of acct to scratch his back. He was especially happy today.
Dogs were pouring into the shelter at a steady pace today. So many dogs, so little space. Stress and tension was super high within those shelter walls. But not where we were, outside in the sunshine. Watching all the craziness from a distance.
I loaded him up in my car so I could take him out for his last meal, a good junky one. I forgot to put his 'save my cage' card in his kennel...why bother, I thought. But I did it anyway. When I returned to the car after several minutes, Shawn was soundly snoozing in the backseat, probably thinking...finally, a quiet place to rest.
We went for a car ride (which he was excellent for) and i got him a hamburger and chicken and he happily ate it all. We sat there for a little while and just enjoyed the fresh air coming into the car with all the windows down.
I returned to acct but did not yet have the guts to bring him in, we were having a really good day. I sat there in the back seat with him and petted his head, which he gently laid on my lap. It was quiet and peaceful.
Time to go in.
As I'm walking him in, I'm finding myself getting more and more emotional. Finally we reached the door and he stopped in his tracks and was sniffing the ground. It was then I realized this is the last time he will ever sniff the ground again and feel the sunshine on his face. It's like he knew and was trying to take in one last good whiff.
I felt awful for him. I kept on reminding myself that he didn't know. Ok so I lost it a little... And still am 8 hours later which is why I feel compelled to write about it.
He was a good boy, I know he was. He just didn't have the opportunity to get out and show the world. The shelter environment was just too much for my dear Shawn to handle.
I'm not writing this to make anyone else sad, but just so I can release some of these emotions to keep my own sanity. This is one that really hit me hard. And I want to remember Shawn and the great day I had with him today. RIP Shawn, I hope there is a rainbow bridge. I hope there is an afterlife where you are running free without any pain, suffering, or stress. I hope wherever you are that you know you were loved in this life and will not be soon forgotten. <3"
I am sad and I am angered and I want to make a difference. So I start this blog, in rememberance of Shawn who deserved much more.
